Something's Wrong
by mikhie
Summary: I walked in, a day like any other. But there was a cold gaze coming from the people I knew. The world around me fell. Everything was so unfamiliar. / in which Mikan finds herself hurt by those around her and learns to grow up.
1. Chapter 1

As I walked into the classroom, I saw all the faces turn around from their chairs to stare at me. Their gazes penetrating through me, with sneering smiles and curved eyes. Their mouths opening and closing again, saying something I couldn't understand. Like bubbles rising up through the water at the bottom of the ocean floor. It had a destination, but it couldn't make it up in time for me to hear. I couldn't hear a thing.

My mind raced, and my heart beat in my chest. It felt tight, and cold. a shiver came down my spine and I felt goosebumps appear on my arms. I pulled myself close, hugging my own arms. It's so cold. Their gazes are so cold. I shivered, and looked down. The only thing i could see were my shaking legs.

"Mikan?" Narumi's voice swept through my thoughts. It was as if a warm blanket had been put over me. The comfort of someone establishing that they knew me, that they'd felt my existence. I looked up. "What's wrong?"

But I could only stare. I didn't dare turn my head. If I turned I'd see them. Why was I so scared? What happened? What changed?

Why were they staring at me so coldly? Like I was a stranger. Like I didn't know them and they didn't know me. What did I do? Was it something I said? Something I did? Maybe.. my selfishness got the better of me. Maybe they were right. The voices. I don't deserve a thing. I never will. In the end, that's how it'll turn out.

Something hot rolled down my cheek, wetting my lashes and my nose. My vision blurred, and I felt myself stumbling over something imaginary. Something that wasn't there. An illusion. I didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything. Not even emotion. What was this? Why was I reacting this way? What is this feeling? Before I knew it, my vision had gone black and I fell to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up to a blank white ceiling. A quiet humming of machinery and a stable and constant beeping sound. Where was I? My head slowly creaked over to the side where I saw an empty stool. The desk by my bed was neat and organized. It had a simple telephone placed on top of some magazine. I pushed myself up with my arms. now I was sitting. The room around me looked deserted. It was so clean, so neat, and so minimalistic. So much so that I was unable to feel a presence other than my own.

No one came to visit me. I guess they were busy. Of course. after all, I had just fainted. Maybe today I will be able to come to class with a smile. Maybe then it will be all over. If I smile it away then no one will know how I feel. My feelings mean nothing here.

A nurse came in quickly after my awakening. She checked on me and gave me medication before telling me why I was there and that I was discharged. I thanked her before quickly leaving and going back to my dorm.

The time was around 6. Still morning. I'd been in the hospital for almost a day. Nearly 24 hours. I sighed. Should I go to homeroom? It wasn't too late, but for some reason, a small part of me didn't want to go. My stomach ached with a stinging pain whenever I thought of it. I don't want to go.

So I'll just tell them I'm sick. I'm sure it'll make sense since I fainted earlier. Feeling a bit better, I scrolled through my phone to my texts. But it was empty. I tried refreshing the app, but there was nothing. My group chats were erased, like they were never there.

Confused, I looked through my contacts. Still there. So where were my texts? I went to my DMS with Hotaru, and flexed my fingers.

mikan

hey, sorry, i'm not coming today. i don't feel so well. also, my group chats are gone? are yours too?

I reread it once or twice then pressed send. But it didn't go through. A red pop up appeared and I was even more confused. On top of my confusion, I was scared. Scared of what it meant.

Blocked.

Something fell on my screen. I tasted salt in my mouth and my shirt felt moist. I couldn't look away. My vision blurred from the tears. What does this mean, Hotaru? What are you trying to say? Please.. just tell me, I know I'm an idiot.

But I knew she wouldn't be able to hear my thoughts like that. I took a deep inhale. I'm going to school today, and I'm going to ask what happened. I pooled cool water in my cupped hands and splashed them onto my face, rubbing neatly to rinse off the tears.

I'll see for myself what happened.


	3. Chapter 3

I came to school late that day. My excuse? Sick. It was already lunchtime, so I decided I'd meet them at our table and ask what happened. The lunch lady was grumpy today, but the food was alright. I was a two-star now, after some hard work, and the meals were quite nice. Maybe even restaurant-worthy. After getting set B, I looked over to our table. Everyone was there already, but it looked more crowded than usual. I get that 8 is pretty crowded, but it wasn't like normal. As I came closer, there was an unfamiliar face.

blond hair. It was silky and pretty, and I saw the girl in my previous spot turn around to scan the room. She had these beautiful blue pearl eyes that shined despite the bright cafeteria light. I was confused, and so I walked up to greet them.

"Hi guys," I said, wandering aimlessly around the table. There wasn't a spot to be seen for me. Where should I sit? "Who's this? Is she a new friend?" I beamed widely. I'd decided to greet them and talk before asking. Getting to the point wasn't my thing.

But instead of an answer, they glared at me.

"Shut up." I blinked. "We don't want you here. Luna here is much more generous and actually likes us." Sumire snarled, her cat ears appearing as if she was hissing at me. I looked on in bewilderment.

"..what?"

"Don't what me." Nono snapped. "You're annoying, selfish, and bratty. Did you really think we'd let you just treat us like that?"

I looked at her even more confused. Her eyes burned so brightly with hatred. A Nonoko I'd never seen before. She was one of my best friends. We went shopping together every Friday and she was someone who'd listen to me. Had I done too much? I felt guilty to remember her by the nickname I gave her.

I looked at Hotaru. Surely. My best friend since childhood. She wouldn't leave me here like this, right? I smiled widely, and tried my best to smile more, despite the feeling that it was going to crack. Except she only stared. Not even staring, really, but glaring.

What have I done?

I looked at them and looked at Koko. Koko? He's the funny type! He's one of my best friends. But he only shook his head disappointedly. What? What? What is going on?

Despite it all, I smiled.

"Ruka py-"

"Shut up," Natsume spoke, cold, like when I first met him.

"Huh?" I asked, smiling widely. Except this time tears were streaming down. I've always smiled for you guys and put your feelings first. Always asked how your days were and I've always cheered you up and made you feel better. I even put myself down for you. So what do you mean? I could only smile.

Everyday. It's like this. The overbearing pain that seeps through my skin. It's hot. It stings my body and I feel paralyzed, unable to move in its overwhelming grasp. Just smile. It'll be all over soon. That's how it's always been.

He glared. "Leave. No one wants you here."


End file.
